It can be a confusing.

As the 50th anniversary of MLK I have a dream speech is here its saddening to see so many people subjugated and scared in the world still. It is only fifty years I guess, and Americans will tell me better if they feel any of those aspirations have ever been realised ? 

Im certain Syrians would feel nervous as the world again decides its future, without any input from those poor people about Ito be bombed from submarines and foreign bases on different continents. 

Its difficult to feel anything other than sorrow door a poor man refused a food bank request in the UK because he’s used it three times already. Yes a modern UK handing out food parcel tickets at the job centre ! 

Its horrific to be a poor man in Tibet whose wife set fire to her self to protest against Chinese repression in her homeland and now faces the death penalty after being tortured and blamed with killing his wife by the same Chinese who have beaten and murdered Tibetan nuns recently.

or the Colombian trade union leader being held in prison because he was defending the poor and impressed in his country and was on his way to the UK trades union council to give a speech on how his and others work was progressing in his country.

i don’t know if MLK would still be dreaming if alive today, or if he would be experiencing the nightmare that is modern democracies and oppressed dictatorships. Where is political representation today. It’s mired in a pool of self interest and greed. Oil, arms and influence far out way any other human need, foods, water, heat and a future are denied to so much of the world as we all regale at the latest gadget or tv celebrities dancing on an awards show.

its a nightmare. And we’re all in it, responsible for each others misery and desperation.


“The rain is just as wet, when you went to a grammar school. It soaks you to the skin, and your three year old, too.” (TRIGGER WARNING)

Exceptional piece and required reading.

Cooking on a Bootstrap

I’d like to apologise to anyone I seem to have mortally offended with my apparent ‘conventional attractiveness’ and taste for middle eastern food.
In an article published today on ‘Left Futures’, I am apparently ‘middle class’ for ‘not spending the afternoon drinking White Ace and copulating.’ I am often advised not to respond to criticism – and I rarely do, people are entitled to their opinion. But I do respond to outright lies and misrepresentation, because I’ll be damned if people can rewrite my life and I’ll just let it lie.
In a potted bastardisation of my history, I have apparently ‘been judged lightly’ as a benefit claimant because, basically, i’m pretty and cook with chickpeas. (I’ll ignore the overlooked fact that I only claim child benefit these days, and crack on…) Really? Did you read the Sun comments section, the Guardian comments, the Daily Mail comments, the comments under…

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Still believe

It just goes to show.

woke up this morning and watched tv before getting up. Having applied for over twenty jobs since Monday, I thought I’m having a day off. Kids were up and wife was still asleep. I watched a programme about other people’s missfortune, or rather other people’s fortunes going to relatives who didn’t know they ever lived. Sad really. Anyway I sat and watched and thought how people can be left without friends and family. I had been feeling more positive after so many applications being sent and with Christmas coming up thought my chances of getting meaningful employment increased surely ?

Before we went out, I tried to apply for one last job at an NGO but could I get the bloody computer to operate properly, could I hell. It was so frustrating, slow, awkward and just not responsive. Bit like the daughters. After struggling with it for over an hour, I decided to leave it and go out. Now shopping is an absolute nightmare to me. Hate shops and endless zig zagging in between clothing racks. I try and find a corner and stay out of the way or better still a chair to just flick through twitter. My kids have started to do the same. Don’t think the wife likes the lack of interest in her shopping requirement. Anyway, as we’re almost done ( again) I get a call.

Dodgy phone connections in department stores are a given, and the call was a bit like using string and two cans to have a connection. From the distant voice that belonged to a friend of mine from my last employment I heard details of a job. Giving up on the call I said I’d ring him back in a few minutes and headed for the exit. This is always a good feeling although slightly nervier as i head through those detection panels, don’t know why because I’ve never shop lifted in my life, I just expect them to go off and have a nervous ten minutes with a store detective going through my bags. So outside I ring him back. ” I’m in the middle of negotiating you a pay rise ” this was sounding good..

Turns out there’s a job offer for me. Shocked and a bit nervous, I asked a few more questions. The answers sounded good. And it turns out I start in a few weeks. Wow, never saw that coming. I’VE GOT A JOB !

Im a bit lost. No more applying for jobs, sod them. Things it would seem have suddenly got better. I still believe. I’ve renewed my belief, I’m found again.

Thanks for everyone who expressed words of encouragement and who encouraged me to keep going. I could hug everyone of you.

Daily Prompt: On the Edge

Daily Prompt: On the Edge.

“Stand away from the edge” go on fall over it. The edge is where we all go when something irritates or annoyes us. How close to the edge depends on the size of the irritant. Could be the kids, school, work, partner, life, diner, sports team, it could be the traffic ? There are those who the edge is where they prefer, and those that it scares as much as the bogey man to a child. The edge can make you feel alive, alert, excited. It can take you to very boundaries of your human endurance. It can tip you over them.

some people will look over and some will snigger at those who are frightened by its proximity. These are the people who need to have support, a hand, shoulder or even a careful word spoken to them. These are the people who live like the edge is very much the boundary they are scared by, petrified by the noise it makes. These are the people I would like to stand with, hold their hands maybe, sit, feet dangling down, taking in the  fresh air. I bet everyone has these moments at one time or another. Guess its those that can’t step away that fear it the most ?

if you get near the edge, for whatever reason, however close you get, please take a deep breath and remember. Some one would like to hold your hand. Sit with you. Maybe take in the fresh air ?

Positivity, don’t you just hate it ?

Had lots of support, and as expected the Sun has come out. A massive Thank You to everyone who offered their best wishes, and I know that old saying from Gone With The Wind “tomorrow is another day” is apt. It’s really satisfying to know that people a who don’t even know you can be supportive and positive on your behalf, even when your feeling not so determined yourself. It shows a great human trait, to survive and move forward. I guess it’s what made people move out of their environment, move from safety and security, and out into the wide world. Even if today, the world is tiny, it’s still a big place full of wonderful people and magnificent things. Sure lots of crap goes on, but if we all abandoned our hopes, it would be a dark earth.

Theres got to be a better way politically, but its down to the majority to make it happen. Setting people against each other because of religion or political beliefs seems to be a rather negative reaction from humans, but one that has always been a trait in the narrow minded and it would seem the world is considerably narrow minded when reviewing these things.

Anyway. Big hugs, tapping on the keyboards or screens. Got to get school uniforms.


I have felt a little better, and a little worse at times. I’ve been busy with the future and spent too much time dwelling on the past. But I’m here and whilst its not where I wanted to be, it’s where I am, and I have a beautiful family, who can now beat me on Wii tennis. Although my fitness age is down to 22 which is the greatest achievement this week.

did I tell anyone I like cheese and crackers ?


Im going to get a grip of next week, sun is planned to be out and hopefully  there will be enough ice cream to go round.